I learn so much from my kids. I don’t know who’s wiser.
Earlier this week, my wife and I had to get after them for bickering and even fighting. Well, my 8-year-old daughter smacked my 4-year-old son for something she didn’t like. We had to have discussions with both of them about how our son started the situation by doing things he knew annoyed our daughter and our daughter needs to learn restraint as what she learns at Tae Kwon Do is only to be used in defense and not for roughing others up. We had to do do a little mental martial arts to help them understand the impacts of their actions. I went on to discuss with my daughter that the hitting is not the problem, nor is the anger. Rather, her thinking about what things should be like when dealing with her brother. When her expectations of her brother’s behavior did not match what he did, her frustration rose. Then the next night, the two of them worked side by side for about an hour without incident. The created something they concocted in their head out of cardboard, tape and markers while I cooked up dinner for when mommy arrived home from her full-time job.
What I learn from this is that we get along with each other when we are creating what we want. When we are focused on creating what we truly want in a given moment, we forget our expectations of how we think others should behave or how things should be. We exist in the moment with purpose and express that purpose through our actions and attention. When we think things should be different we lose our purpose and stop creating the life we want. So the next time I find life different than I expect it to be or people acting differently than I think they should act, I simply need to refocus my attention on what I want to create in the situation and allow things to be as they may.