My son had one of those evenings parents just want to let die and fade into the forgetton past. He was tired, unfocused and generally difficult at the end of the day. We tried being stern as well as soft-spoken and understanding. Nothing seemed to work. He was upset, five years old and determined to express his disdain for his situation. We let his sister watch a little television as she got through tubby, brushing and flossing like we asked her to do. He did not. He dillied and dallied around. He got distracted despite the simplest instructions. When he found out his sister was down stairs watching something he was not, he lost his marbles yelling and screaming to his mother. He cried and threw a tantrum. My wife, bless her heart, followed through and said if he continued, he would lose his book reading or even worse get stuck on a stool for his miserable behavior. He eventually settled down and before my wife could read a book fell asleep with her gently stroking his back.
What I observe from this is how we all can get when we allow our emotions to overwhelm us. We get lost in our feelings and unable to execute the simplest functions. In some ways we regress into long past behaviors. As grown ups we call it stress, anger, frustration, sadness or even depression, but it reflects back upon a time long ago when we were figuring our how to deal with life when it didn’t go our way. As my wife and I related to our son, things didn’t have to be this way if he would simply do what we asked. We gave him an idea of what he could do as a corrective action to be able to watch part of a movie with the rest of the family. With a little focus on what his environment demanded of him, he could get what he wanted.
Basically, doing what’s required of us is managing our business. Integrating within our environment and doing what’s needed is being accountable for our actions and decisions. In the most fundamental way, our son is learning to manage his business. To get what he wants requires him to do certain things. When he doesn’t do those things, he has only himself to blame. He has to think about the consequences of his actions or lack of action.
Tonight is already going better. He’s just as tired having fallen asleep reading a library book before his mom got home. However, with a little reminder, he’s getting done what he needs to get done because he’s focused on making happen what he wants to happen. He’s learning to manage his business even thought that’s not what he calls it. He’s listening to what his environment is demanding of him, focusingondoing it to get what he wants. He’s profiting from his good decisions and actions. If that’s not managing the business of you, I don’t know what is.