Conflict arises in our lives in all kinds of ways.  It may be at work, with our significant others, our kids or our own competing desires.  No matter where we encounter conflict the biz of you benefits when you allow it to happen with the intent of learning from it.  Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing and more often than not, we can learn something from it.  There are many conflict resolution techniques including competing, collaborating, compromising, withdrawing or smoothing to name a few.  We can benefit from conflict no matter what approach we take when we think of the conflict in terms of “we” and “our” instead of “you” and “I” as well as maintaining the intent of learning from the conflict.  Going into conflict with this type of open-mindedness enables us to see others viewpoints and the strength of argument.  Keeping a level head during our encounters allows us to use the information we gain to find solutions that can benefit not only ourselves but others as well.   Obviously, there are times when this is not possible and we may have to simply bow out.

I find keeping a level head the difficult part and have to continuously monitor my own emotional center of gravity.  It’s so easy to get wrapped up in my own expectations or desires for the situation.  What I find useful is to remind myself to think in the “we” and “our” terms.  Focusing on learning instead of being right or getting my way also takes off the edge of my energy allowing me to stay over my emotional and rational centers.  This in turn enables me to listen with more than my ears and find the connections and essence of an argument or energized situation.  I make many mistakes in this but that’s how I continue to learn and refine my own approach to working the conflicts that present themselves to my biz.

Find your own approach to working the conflict in your daily biz keeping over your emotional center with the intent of learning.