Sometimes it seems like everyone is so ready to point out mistakes and put us in our place. Leaders tell us how we are not looking at this or that perspective or dabble in our work and undermine our own efforts. Co-workers tell us our questions are not useful or mask our inquiry with their own ideas and in doing so make sure they are center of the stage of discussion. Then there are those who talk a lot and don’t really do anything to back up their positions. They rely on the actions of other people to make things happen. People are so wrapped up in being in the middle of things or advancing their own ideas, agendas and position, it’s a wonder we are able to accomplish anything. Where’s the collaboration? Where’s the sense of advancing the vision of the entire team? Why isn’t there a cohesive vision from our leaders?

We are human. We have egos. Unless we are willing to question ourselves and the effects of our actions, we can easily get wrapped up in our ego bound delusions and fail to see our actions may be undermining our intentions of making things better. We get spun up. What we call passion is taken as offensive. What we call making things right is taken as political positioning or jockeying for superiority. Our focus is not understood and people may even ridicule us.

There are those who abhor politics and the drama that can happen the work place, our “get togethers” outside work or in the family. Seeking to avoid the drama, people withdraw, don’t bring up their ideas, or simply stop interacting. I have my own reclusive tendencies but recognize without interaction my ability to create the life I want is diminished.

Unless we are isolated in the mountains or deep desert without a soul around, we necessarily have to interact with other people. The people we interact with and the relationships we form are the system we integrate with on a daily basis. If we truly want to create the vision we have for our lives it is critical to look beyond ourselves, listen to what people observe about us and reflect on how our actions are being received. Without this self-correcting approach based on external feedback, our self-delusion gets reinforced by our own thinking and feeling.  We cut ourselves off from our environment and lose the ability to adapt which in turn reduces our diversity and flexibility. Without flexibility we get stuck in repetitive patterns full of pain and suffering. Our relationships falter and we diminish the returns we receive from the energy we invest in trying to get shit done. Our biz suffers. Success and happiness seem like dreams.

To make our dreams of success and happiness a reality, we simply need to know what we want; integrate with our environment; take actions to better not only ourselves but others; and listen to the feedback given to us no matter where it may come from. Life is change. We need to allow ourselves to change over time in order to increase our capacity for independent action and thus create the life we want.